Link: de.sevenload.com

Jedenfalls ist es ein typischer Michael-Mind-(Cover-)Sound.

Und hier ist der Text:

J: Good evening, Achmed.
A: Good evening, infidel.
J: So, you’re a terrorist.
A: Yes, I am a terrorist.
J: What kind of terrorist?
A: A terrifying… terrorist… Are you scared?
J: Not really, no.
A: Arghhh, and now?
J: Not really, no.
A: Aaaargh, how about now?
J: No.
A: God damn it… Oh.. oh.. I meant a Allah damn it. … Silence, I kill you!
J: So, Akhmed.
A: No no, it’s Achmed.
J: That’s what I said.
A: No, you said Akhmed, it’s Achmed, chchchchch. Silence, I kill you!
J: How do you spell it?
A: What!?
J: How do you spell your name?
A: Oh, let’s see, A-C-FLEMCH… Silence, I kill you!
J: So, Achmed if you’re a terrorist I would supposed you have some sorts of specialty.
A: Yes, I am a suicide bomber.
J: So you finished…
A: What?
J: You’ve done your job.
A: No, I haven’t.
J: But you’re dead.
A: No, I’m not. I feel fine.
J: But.. You’re All Bone.
A: It’s a flesh wound. Silence, I kill you! … What the hell happened to my feet? … Son of the bitch… what the hell… wait a minute… what re you doing……. Stop touching meeeee! I kill you!
J: All right just hold on, we’ll fix this.
A: Okay, wait, what are you doing? Holy crap I’m in the air … I need some ligaments.
J: Just seat still.
A: Okay, I will not move my ass.
W: You idiot, you don’t have an ass.
A: Is that Walter?
J: Yes.
A: He scares the crap out of me. Please do not put me back in the same suitcase!
J: Why?
A: He has gas, Saddam’s mustard gas is nothing compared to Walter fart.
W: Hahahahaha.
A: It’s not funny… he will kill us.
J: All right, listen Achmed, I have something to tell you.
A: What?
J: You really are dead.
A: Are you sure?
J: Yes.
A: But, I just got my flu shot!
J: You really are dead.
A: Wait, if I’m dead, that means I get my 72 virgins! Are you my virgins? I hope not!
J: Why?
A: There’s a bunch of ugly ass guys out here. If this is paradise I’ve been screwed!
J: Did they say it would be only female virgins?
A: Holy crap! … Wait, I could have Clay Aiken. Hahahaha. I told a joke.
J: So, listen Achmed, where did you come from?
A: Your freaking suitcase. Hahahahaha. I told anoter one!
J: Look, if you’ve been in my suitcase all this time, how have you been getting through security at the airports?
A: Oh that’s easy! They open the suitcase and I go: Helloooo, I am Lindsay Lohan! Hahaha, I told another joke. I can do this crap too. Okay, here’s another one: Two jews walk in a bar…
J: No, no, no.
A: What? What you don’t let jews in your bar? You racist bastard!
J: No, what I mean is I don’t want racist jokes in my act.
A: Oh, okay how about if I kill the jews? No, I’m kidding I wouldn’t kill the jews … No … I would toss a penny between them and watch them fight to the death! Hahahahaha. Yes yes, I did the same thing with two catholic priests, but I tossed a small boy! Yes yes, and the winner had to fight Michael Jackson.

J: Achmed.
A: What?
J: Stop doing this. You can’t tell jokes like that.
A: Why not, I’m killing…
J: You can’t tell jokes like that, it offenses people.
A: Oh… I’m dead, what do I care? What do you want me to do? Knock-knock jokes?
J: It would probably better.
A: Okay. Knock knock.
J: Who’s there?
A: Me, I kill you.
J: So look, as a suicide bomber, have you had a training?
A: Of course we had the suicide bomber training camp.
J: Is that a nice facility?
A: It used to be.
J: What happend?
A: New guy.. the idiot tried to practice.
J: What did you guys learn from that?
A: Location, location, location.
J: Do you guys have any kind of model?
A: Like what?
J: You know, like looking for a few good men.
A: We’re looking for some idionts with no future.
J: So, where do you get your recruits?
A: The suicide hotline. Hahahaha. That was dark, was it not?
J: So, what exactly happened to you?
A: Eh?
J: What happened?
A: Oh, if you must know, I am a horrible suicide bomber.
J: What happened?
A: I had a premature detonation. I set the timer for 30 minutes, but it went off in 4 seconds. you know what that’s like, right? Mister Hurricane?
W: Hahahaha.
J: So, Achmed, What exactly happen to you?
A: Well, I was getting gasoline and I answered my cell phone. Can you hear me now? Ghhh! At first I thought it was because I went over my minutes.
J: That’s too bad.
A: It’s okay. I took that Verizon bastard with me.
J: So… what it’s like to die, do you see white light?
A: If you’re dumb enought to watch the explosion, yes!
J: No, I mean some people say, when they die they see a white light. What did you see?
A: I saw flying car parts.
J: What was the last thing that went through your mind?
A: My ass. Hahahaha. Walter told me to tell that joke.
J: So you never saw a white light?
A: No, but I saw a blue Prius. Do you really have one of those vehicles? Hahaha… That is not a car, that’s a lunchbox. Did you know when you’re going down the highway in the Prius and you put hand out the window, the vehicle will tuuurn?
J: You did all this for a bunch of virgins?
A: Are you kidding me? I’d kill you for a Klondike bar!
J: So I guess you are Muslim?
A: I don’t think so.
J: You are not Muslim?
A: No.
J: Why?
A: Look at my ass. It says: „Made in China“. Walter says I’m just a strinking Halloween decoration. Hahaha…
J: So you like being in D.C.
A: I think some idiots must live here.
J: Why?
A: For example, the Washington Monument.
J: Yes?
A: It looks nothing like the guy… It looks more like a tribute to Bill Clinton. Hahaha…
J: What do you think about the Bush.
A: Oh, I love Bush. Oh, you mean the president? I’m sorry.
J: And that’s Achmed the Dead Terrorist……

Link: de.sevenload.com

Ich glaube, diese Aussage trifft es genau auf den Punkt! Denn das Programm dieses Handpuppenspielers ist definitiv das beste, was es momentan auf dem Markt gibt. Allen voran der Maulwurf ist total ansteckend!

Rapante

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Schneewante

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Der Maulwurf auf dem Mond

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Shakespage

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Kalle der Eisbär

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Frosch

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Die MySpace-Seite von René Marik gibt einen weiteren Vorgeschmack darauf, was da noch so kommen möge, wir dürfen also gespannt sein. Selbiges gilt auch für die Webseite.